Labor Tips for Birth Partners
Labor and Birth Tips From a Doula
As your due date approaches, your partner may be feeling some anxiety over how to best support you during labor. The following seven points are what I typically suggest to worried partners.
My most common suggestion to clients during late pregnancy is to stay informed, rested, and positive. Create a bubble of peace around you! I suggest self-care by relaxing with music, hypnosis, aromatherapy, and hydrotherapy.
While a client is at home during early labor, I typically suggest that she enjoys a long, warm bath to relax her muscles completely so she might be able to sleep between contractions when she returns to bed. It is important for her to rest and allow labor to advance on its own. Skip the shower until you’re at the hospital - it may both comfort you and speed up labor. Keep reading for more tips and reminders for an optimal perinatal experience.
1. Learn to time contractions.
Download an app to your smartphone to accurately time contractions. I like the Full Term app but anything will work, even a kitchen timer and notepad. To get the hang of it, practice before labor begins.
When I'm called to help at a labor, I ask how far apart the contractions are currently (frequency), how long each contraction lasts (duration), and for how many hours the timing has been recorded. I often ask for screenshots too.
2. Know the stages of labor.
The Birth Partner is an excellent guide for anyone supporting labor and birth. It covers the role of each member of the birth team, medical interventions, and natural approaches, and what to expect in the event of a necessary c-section. Labor is divided into four stages:
Stage ONE is further divided into three phases:
Phase I: Early labor also called the latent phase.
Phase II: Active labor (5cm or 6cm dilation to 8cm)
Phase III: Transition (8cm dilation to 10cm or "complete")
Stage TWO: also called the pushing stage.
Stage THREE: the birth of the placenta.
Stage FOUR: the hour after birth.
3. Don't take anything personally.
People communicate with their whole body during labor and swatting a hand away, etc. is common! I once witnessed a partner getting his face “palmed” and pushed away so his partner could continue making eye contact with me. We all laughed about it later and nobody had hurt feelings.
4. Keep relaxed, rested and nourished.
Provide water, decaf tea, or diluted fruit juice and nibble on easily digestible foods. Play music, suggest several long baths, and between contractions, give a foot massage or two. Stay positive and remember true labor will progress on its own without taking long walks to "get things moving." Labor is a time to conserve energy and to sleep between contractions; every bit of accumulated sleep helps to combat fatigue for active labor and transition.
5. Be supportive and present.
Binging on shows during early labor can be a necessary distraction for the person in labor but avoid watching TV by yourself or using your smartphone unless it is being used to time contractions to track labor. Focus on your partner and assign a trusted family member the task of updating friends/family on the day's progress.
6. Get support for the immediate postpartum period.
Any help is appreciated when a new baby arrives! Postpartum doulas are trained to facilitate the bond between parents and baby and recognize the signs of postpartum depression. Such doulas or infant care specialists will assist your family with light housekeeping and meal prep, providing a much-needed extra pair of helping hands!
Have the contact info of a local Lactation Consultant on hand. Let's face it, breastfeeding can be difficult and new parents need expert help at a moment's notice. Ask your doula, OB, or midwife for a referral.
7. Know the signs of postpartum depression.
Here’s a list of symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety. Educate yourself and take action before a problem embeds itself - call a therapist and schedule an appointment immediately when you suspect help is needed.
Give Gentle Reminders and Trust The Process
It is intuitive for a person's body to move throughout labor and to test multiple positions to strike the perfect balance of comfort and progress. To keep the body loose and limp throughout contractions, focus on the wonderful breaks in between. As a break ends, take a deep cleansing breath, drop the shoulders, and wiggle the jaw or open the mouth. If standing or using a birth/balance ball, keep hips swaying or circling. Movement, open-pelvis positions, and a relaxed body help the cervix open faster and shorten the overall length of labor.
The positions shown here facilitate the normal, natural process of labor. Keep in mind that you'll want to encourage a position change every hour to stretch (unless the coveted nap takes hold.) I also suggest clients empty their bladder every hour or two and labor on the toilet for 10-15 minutes each visit.
I'd love to show you how I can positively impact your pregnancy and childbirth experience. The next step toward having a happy birthday is to request a free consultation. For the best birth outcome, secure doula service - virtually or in-person if you’re local to Tampa. I'd be delighted to help you.
Want to see the evidence on doula support for labor? Take a look at this handout from Evidence Based Birth.